Most Poignant Movie EVER!

So I watched The Boy In the Striped Pajamas just now and it was...sad, poignant, disturbing,tragic. I don't know how to describe it.
I have always been a bit of a WWII junkie. I want to understand how it happened, how people were deceived, what led to the people of the world turning a blind eye, etc. Maybe I just want to be able to see it coming next time- if you think there won't be a next time read some history.
Anyway this movie makes me want to read the book and prayerfully consider when I want to expose my children to this part of history. I know that in the next two years Michael will be learning about WWII but I need to be able to let him know the truth without scarring him for life. Maybe I will watch this with him when he is 12 or so.

Maybe the movie upset me so much because I know it could have happened AND more because I have an eight year old (the age of the characters in the movie). I'm not saying that I didn't like the movie BUT I am not sure you should like it. It gave me pause and it made me think and if you really want to know the details of the film they are on the internet.

Summer Fun with PICS

So we have done some fun stuff this summer and now I will show the pics to prove it.

First was a wonderful ballet recital for the princess.



Baseball anyone?

Family fishing...boy were they yummy!

We went to a pay pond near Fairplay Colorado with Grandma and Grandpa Norris. It was fun and even the little guys had a good time even PEANUT. He found a nice little hole full of water to play in and became adequately soaked and so happy. Ah the joys of childhood!



We even got to the cabin for the first time in THREE years. It was hard to believe that neither James or Will had been to the cabin before. It was great- except the mosquitoes who tried to carry us off.
I wouldn't mind having a life that simple again- oh wait I never have had a life that simple. Oh well these glimpses are great!
I mean who wouldn't want to see this everyday. Just looking at these pictures is relaxing- boy do I need to do that!



We got to see real life pelicans floating down the green river:



We Hiked...well until it started to pour...and hail.



And we roughed it when bathing boys.




There was even some swimming in a glacial lake. BRRR! Poor kids they think that this is what the beach is always like :( Oh well one day they'll learn the joys of a WARM beach. Maybe?

Oh Hail!

So I took the kids out today and while we were out our weekly plauge struck the POOR garden. Now we all know why Parker wasn't settled earlier. DANG!

This just makes me mad because if I wouldn't have weeded the weeds would have gotten the brunt of everything and my back would still be functional. STINK!

Pray that our food survives this stinky weather. Can't I have rain without HAIL?

What if...?

I've been reconnecting with alot of people from my childhood and my past and I realized something. I don't think that I am who I once was. I mean maybe it's because life changes a person or because difficult-and sometimes BAD- situations occur and you can't be who you once were. ( Does this make sense?)

I guess that I wonder how close I'd be to those I grew up with if I lived nearer to them.

I left home over 12 years ago. I've been married for nearly ten years and so much changes a person. I find that I am much more introverted than I was as a teenager and young adult. I find myself slightly cloistered with not too many really close friends and I wonder when did this happen or was I just kidding myself all along.

There was a time that I could talk to anyone, anywhere and now I barely ever put myself out there. I once could tell anyone about the faith that I so strongly have but now not so much. I once could stick up for myself in any situation and now I only stand up for myself if it's a medical situation or for my spouse and kids.

What changed?

I think that I am an extrovert trapped in an introvert right now. I so badly want to get out there and go to it BUT with all that is going on I don't have the energy to be all things to all people when I am barely ME.

I wonder if anyone else ever considers these things??? I want to be the best of then and now. I want to have the wisdom that I have gained with the exuberance of those years. Maybe it is hard to put myself out there with those outside of my belief structure because I am looked at as the baby- I am the youngest mom at school and the youngest person on our block. And let me tell you that as an oldest child this is annoying! I have more to offer than I get credit for and even with all of my faults I know stuff and I am willing to learn. Anyway that's enough wandering through my cobweb ridden mind.

Just think about it though. What if...?

Imobile

So it has happened again. The effects of carrying 4 children has once again bit me in the butt- literally. My sacroilliac joint dysfunction(SJD) has flared up and Ryan is in Alaska until early NEXT Sunday morning- STINK!
(For those of you who don't know what SJD is it is a condition where the ligaments...never mind just go here if you really want to know http://www.spineuniverse.com/videos/sacroiliac-joint/ )

So anyway because of this lovely flare up I walk like an eighty year old and I even have my cane- cool as it may be- to help me along. It really stinks. Sleeping is nearly impossible, sitting isn't comfortable, and standing is ok as long as I don't have to bend. Without Michael and Christi everything would be in complete turmoil. They get the boys out of the cribs they help me lift them in their cribs. They fetch my cane and pick up things I can't. They are super awesome.

I think that this is God's way of saying hey stupid I told you to BE STILL! Well here's my humility. Dang! Who thought child bearing would cause my warranty to expire. I mean I'm not thirty for a whole month and a half and my warranty is blown. But then again it was blown three years ago so whateva!

When it rains...

I swear can't stuff stay static for a while. I mean today the mower broke, when we just got it tuned boy are they gonna get an earful from me! NOt to mention we are trying to beg the employer to keep us from chapter 11. Plus we have to get a new roof and oh who knows what else is gonna happen before the end of the week. NOt a good start to July huh?

SERIOUSLY.... I loved going to Ryan's family cabin BUT the only problem is that we have to come home. We can't stay in awe of the beautiful creatures and scenery God hid in remote parts of Wyoming-can we? It was great to watch the kids fish and play games and read and hike in the rain and try to jump in with the fish and swim in a glacial lake not knowing that beaches shouldn't feel like they are 50 degrees-brr!

I could turn around and go back if money wasn't so necessary. STINK! Anyway we had fun and I will put up pictures soon. I hope.

LOUISIANA...I found your rain!!!

So I enjoy rain as much as anyone but COME ON! Don't get me wrong now, it is glorious that what little income we have is not going to the water company or other utilities(here when it rains it cools down- unlike in Louisiana- so no AC needed) but I am ready for a few days of 90's and my poor brothers are steaming in Louisiana where it was about 107 degrees today and it hasn't rained in about a month.

So Louisiana I am done borrrowing your rain for the month of JUNE. I mean when we have 3 inches in two hours plus tons of hail I think we're good for a while. Plus if this were snow we'd be trapped so I guess that we're better off than if this were winter but I could use a break.

I think that Colorado is just greening up for my friend Marsha who doesn't like the shades of brown that things become normally! So here's to you Marsha as Colorado gives you this loverly parting gift of GREEN!

Joi de Vivre..maybe

Often it can be overwhelming to look for "joi de vivre" when you are experiencing a not so wonderful period in your life. I look at my kids with great envy for their ability to love the moment and be happy with things the way they are. (I guess that means I must be doing something right for them not to know how things really are.)

This week has been quite difficult with Ryan gone and no bites on a new job. Having the unknown as a constant companion is frightening and wearisome. I am tired and only want to have some idea as to how this will all end up...Oh wait I guess this is where faith is supposed to come in AGAIN.

Well enough rambling. Just keep Ryan in your prayers. He works so hard for our family and does so much that it's not really fair to him to have these continued health issues and employment problems but that's life- not very fair. Oh well tomorrow he'll be home YAY!

So much CHAOS...so little time!

So you will all see that I am up WAY too late and that I need to go to bed but peace is an evasive thing in this household and I am taking it when I can get it!
There is so much for me too say and yet no way to say or explain everything so I will just spit out the point of this rambling.
WE NEED A JOB
I know it was just last August when we got this current job but due to our lovely economy all bets are off and things MUST change. Ryan has been put on straight commission and there are NO sales so whatever %-age of sales we are supposed to get it doesn't really matter when total sales are ZERO!
So what does this mean...Well this means that we need prayers and lots of them. Ryan is applying for new jobs left and right. He is working so hard for his current employer while coming home to work even harder to find a new employer.
So if anyone knows of a sales/marketing job making no less than 66k/year- it takes alot to feed four kids- in the Denver area preferably LET ME KNOW! We aren't opposed to moving but we just did that- twice! UGH!

Anyway I hope that someone sees something! I am having good cries about this in the garage and in the shower and that is getting old FAST. I know we will be fine BUT the sooner the better to move on.

Thanks for any support and love that you can send our way!

Decorate...who me?

Ok so I have been decorating a bit here and there even though I still wake up wondering if this really is my house. I mentioned in an earlier post that I have been blog stalking home decor blogs as well as stealing ideas from IKEA. And I have been promising some pics for a while so I guess here we go.

First, my family tree. I stole this idea from IKEA and my wonderful friend made it a reality. I love this. I haven't finished because I want pics from every side of the family- well at least the 4 grandparents lines- and Riley had a baby but she said she could help add a few leaves and some shading. Anyway the smallest frames are actually CHRISTMAS ornaments from Hobby Lobby. I couldn't find the exact same frame in every size so I just went with a wood-like theme for the frames.



Here is the IKEA version again:


Second, my old window frame. I LOVE OLD STUFF! You know antique items, people, just about anything old except FOOD- ick! So I wanted something on this wall but I was afraid if I hung a picture that it would get faded since there is a window just to the right of this wall. So I grabbed this frame that I bought as a set of two and hung it on the wall. I think it is awesome and maybe one day I will get the project for the other window frame that has glass done.


Next, my monogram project. So I love the ideas of monograms. I don't know why but maybe it is just another simple way to include my family history obsession in my life. So I found a letter "N" that I liked and printed it out. It was a little grainy so I just went over it with a permanent marker cut it out with an exacto knife and glued to a pre-cut piece of clue scrapbook paper. Add a frame and voila another cool item for my home. YAY!


Last but most important is my wall of what matters most. My family is my greatest obsession. I live for them- past, present & future. I have tons more pictures to hang and if I can find or get a vinyl phrase made that sums up this wall it will go at the tippy top. So wish me luck that I won't fall off a ladder and further bust my body. It is fun to feel like this home is MY home. Maybe next I'll be able to show my drapery that I am making, some pillow covers, my patriotic themed front room and possibly a bathroom or three. That's if my kids don't drive me insane-er before then.

Pray for...

Do you ever feel as though your prayers seem hollow? Like you have a list of thanks and please and it never seems to get smaller? Does this even make sense?
So I have been thinking about how prayers are answered and how it always works out just right. It's often easy to have this knowledge when things are going smooth BUT it gets harder to recognize the silver lining when all you see is the tarnish.
Well below are some things I am especially gratefull for right now!
* Rain- wow we have had a ton and that means I don't have to water the lawn or garden! YAY!
* Medication- how would it be to have no relief from illness EVER. Glad I live NOW.
* Flowers- thanks to the previous owners the yard is in bloom and it is a joy to experience. Peonies and irises, columbines & roses, fresh strawberries and clematis.
* Space- how nice it is to have space. To have room for everyone and to be able to see your junk and get rid of it.
* Spouse- Ryan is an amazing man who I hope gets enough credit from me for how outstanding he is.
* Kids- who knew my greatest trial could also be my greatest blessing. Four brilliant and loving children who work hard and learn tons all while teaching more then I will ever teach them.
* Spirituality- nothing keeps my mind going more than studying and learning about my purpose. I need this more than food, this is the air for my soul and keeps me from feeling useless. Thank goodness that I was blessed with this gift of curiosity about the Plan of Salvation

A voice from the Dust

Recently my grandmother told me of a phrase that my great-grandmother(pictured above) imparted to her once:

When everything's going smooth
Life gets boring
You gotta stir things up


Now I don't know if you have to stir things up BUT I do think that things go smooth and then all of a sudden you're on your ear. Life just stirs itself up! This phrase has been going through my mind alot recently as I ponder how smooth life went for about six months and now here we are.

Well I guess there must be opposition in all things so here we go. Wish us luck in our opposition. And enjoy this picture of my grandfather stirring things up.

Family History Picture

So for many of you this won't matter at all but for my siblings this may be extremely interesting.
Recently my mom came to spend time with my grandmother- her step-mother. While talking with my grandmother the subject of my biological grandmother came up. My grandmother is an outstanding lady and has kept nearly EVERYTHING of my biological grandmother's. In one box there was a photo album and in this album was the above picture. (And since my grandma is SUPER cool and owns a scanner I was able to scan it in and now I have this digital copy. All without the album ever leaving the house. OK so technology can be good.)

So this picture is of the Edgar and Mabel WECKMUELLER family circa 1920's (post Dec1921) Their two children Edward "Eddie" and Kathleen are pictured. So I hope that you all enjoy this picture as much as I do.

I HATE TECHNOLOGY

So our PC has been on life support for years and seems to slowly be biting the dust and NOW the lappy is terminal. There is no hope for either of these poor excuses for progress in the tech sector and now our trusty printer, scanner & copier seems to have been injured beyond repair- boys shoving various items into it.
So I say down with technology. I mean will the world stop if I have to write a note? Will my email box fill and then implode. Will I stagnate because I can't renew or reserve anything online. Will my remaining brain cells be able to find a way to pay bills the old fashioned way. Who knows but this is sure a fine time to have all this stuff decide to crap out- you know when you are paying off medical bills & trying to save for that rainy day that seems to be TODAY. ARG!

Inspiration

So here is the inspiration I mentioned from IKEA. I will post my version soon.

Blog Surfing

OK... I have a confession to make. With a new house comes a desire to decorate. I do not pretend to have much natural ability for this but somehow it is beginning to fall into place, and it has been less than a year.

It also helps that Ryan is handy and that I have my friend Riley to advise me before I make any disastrous design decisions. I probably don't follow the rules when it comes to decorating but who cares - I like it.

The best thing I have done is when I find an idea I like I take a picture or steal said idea and tweek it to my own desire. Like I saw this one family tree idea at IKEA and I had to do it. Riley came over and away we went. It is awesome and although I am not finished it is the focal point of our family room.

I also attribute most of all the internet and those awesome decor blogs that are out there. There are just numerous ideas that I have been able to get inspiration and impliment in my home. I just think that this has saved me tons in time and money. I have bought NO magazines and accumulated no library fines. There is now nothing to throw away and no excess paper lying around. I am so thrilled that I can get ideas without having to use my budget for that instead of the pictures I want printed or the fabric I need.

So here is my salute to online decor blogs. Thanks for the money saving ideas! (Go ahead. Try it.)

On the Mend

So for an update on Job(Ryan)....He is recovering slowly but nicely. Right now he is trying to overcome the side-effects of the drugs but soon he will be done with those and it will not be so bad anymore.
Seriously though it may be a year before his energy level is back to normal. This is hard for him with a demanding job, four kiddos and the fact that he never sits still for long. For example this weekend we painted our master bathroom, planted two fruit trees, seeded the lawn and moved potted plants around to save from the snow. Yep again more snow. Well at least we have yet to turn on the sprinklers. Mother Nature is certainly helping our pocket book.
Well I guess that is it for the update we are well and so very grateful for everyone's thoughts and prayers.

What NOW?

So yesterday we went back to the dermatologist and got the first biopsy back. She brought in another doctor- this is #7 in case you are keeping track- for a look at our medical mystery. With the biopsy back and two doctors looking at him we got yet another diagnosis- Linear Iga.
You can google it if you want to but it is no fun. Ryan can barely walk due to the blisters all over his feet. HOPEFULLY we can take this drug and be over it OR he may have to take this drug for the rest of his life OR he may not be able to take the drug in question and the who knows.
We won't know until the biopsy and blood work from yesterday come back.
Apparently it can become auto-immune even if caused by an allergic reaction originnaly. We are very grateful that the doctors are so aggressive and that they have taken the time to explain, research, check and double check everything.
Medical issues STINK! Dealing with the possible mortality of a spouse REALLY STINKS!

So to date this is what we have: Strep infection(Strep Throat), Mono, Staph infection of the skin and a rash diagnosed for now as Linear IGA.

Please keep us all in your prayers. This is exhausting, overwhelming and no fun. Luckily the kids are healthy- knock on wood- and for now we have a job.

One in a Million...BABY!

Ok so we think that we FINALLY have a diagnosis for Ryan's disease.
Erythema Multiforme
Ever hear of it? Us either. Luckily we got a dermatologist who did know what it was. You all can google it OR you can go here
http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/762333-overview the pics are pretty close to what Ryan has and it is NO fun.( The likelyihood of getting it is 0.01-1% crazy huh?)
There is a chance still that it could be a more sever form of the afore mentioned condition called: Stevens- Johnson Syndrome (way to go Dr. Britt).
You can read all about how fun that is too at the above site.
So hopefully by Friday we will have a 100% confirmed diagnosis. Just two more doctor's appointments- opthamologist & dermatologist (AGAIN)
Thanls for all of your prayers and concern. It has been a long week and a half and hopefully it is nearly all over. And if you really want to see how bad it is we did get pics- YUM!)
BY the way he still has strep and Mono! Fun huh?

Medical anomily

So Ryan had a little ER visit last night. And the verdict was yes you have strep-red-(like doctor #1 said on Wed) but...Dum Dum Dum...that pesky rash oh yes baby you have mono-purple- too.
So the back story is Ryan had strep about a month ago, was given antibiotics sometime during that he contracted Mono and because he had antibiotic going on it caused a rash. Due to the Strep diagnosis another round of anti-biotics was given which exaserbated said rash- spreading to the eyeball. After 3 doctors and three nurses trying to get an IV in we finally got a diagnosis and hopefully he will be on the mend.
I guess that this rarely if NEVER happens and the doctor at the ER said that he hadn't heard of such a thing since Med school- good thing he did because the ER room was way small and staying there too long would not have been cool.(Feng shui is definately in order there!)
Thanks to friends (Mark & Steve)for a blessing, for family (mom & Jeane) for watching kiddos & for relief from callings, kids and dinner for a day or two (Debbie, Julie, Jill, John & Patty).
I have learned that sometimes it's not only OK but necessary to say I can't do this. Whew! What a month! Thank goodness for modern medicine though!) As well as my own personal nurse(Julie). Where would I be without you? Oh wait I know...exploded mammary system due to undiagnosed mastitis, miserable husband who is too sick to rest & not too mention just a little mental instability!
Hope May is better than March & April.