Reminiscing on TREES

So while listening to Kathryn Stockett last night she said something that has been on my mind all night and now all morning.
Ms. Stockett: There is so much sky here. It is just beautiful and goes on and on. (to paraphrase.)
Yes, Ms. Stockett we have sky but you, you have TREES. Trees that Mother Nature herself raised up and no landscaper or builder had to plant. Trees that drink water like we drink in air. Trees so big and beautiful. Trees that say climb me, hang a tire swing, lay in my immense branches. Trees that droop to the ground and reach to the sky. Trees that catch misteltoe and Spanish moss that looks like the grey mane of a distinguished woman.
Oak trees that are so large a tree house would be a mansion in it's great branches. Bald cypress trees that have lived through war, hurricanes, tornadoes, drought and keep on going.
Pine trees that reach heavenward and beg to have you climb to the top and hang precariously as the wind blows and you stretch to see to the end of the block over the other trees.

Magnolias that say touch my waxy leaves and smell my beautiful flowers. Crepe Myrtles that have delicate buds that if you know how to you can make blossom in your hand.

Oh how I miss the trees that were my childhood playground. There is nothing better than hiding in the branches of a tree. Climbing higher and higher each year in the neighborhood pine trees. Picking pecans during the eye of a hurricane so they won't all blow away. Walking through a jungle of trees on little trails that only us kids could fit through. Passing a gardenia and having the fragrance fill your senses. Seeing trees that were once mere bushes. Having color from azaleas & blue hydrangeas that you didn't even have to try to grow.

I wish that my kids had that. Even though they don't, during our last snow storm- two weeks ago- Son #1 crawled under the willow bush to knock of the snow and exclaimed, "Mom it's beautiful under hear." What would he think of my trees?

Meeting an Author

Thanks to The Denver Post I was able to find out that Kathryn Stockett was going to be at a local bookstore doing a Q&A and book signing. Kathryn Stockett is the breakout author of The Help - which I previously posted about. I am not usually one to go to these type of things but Mr. Norris was in town and I thought what the heck.
I arrived at the Tattered Cover in Highlands Ranch and grabbed my number and my seat waiting for about an hour to hear Ms. Stockett's lovely voice. She was indeed a lovely lady and answered some good questions.
* She was rejected about 60 times for this book! Amazing the tenacity this little lady has. Boy do those publishers and agents hate themselves now.
* The cover with the 3 little birds has absolutely NOTHING to do with the story. No hidden meaning. No unique perspective. NOTHING! To quote Ms. Stockett:
"We found a lovely black and white picture of a black hand holding a white child's hand. I thought it was perfect but everyone was worried that people would think that the book was about race. (eyes roll) So after 60 rejections and going through tons of covers I didn't give a rat's (you know what- my substitution) what the cover looked like.
* She did not model Skeeter after herself. As she stated, "Skeeter was homely"
* She writes books about women for women and so the men are secondary. She modeled Skeeter's daddy after her grandfather and just wanted him to be considered a really good man.
* There is a movie coming and Steven Speilberg has picked it up. The lady who does the voice of Minnie on the audio book will be Minnie in the Movie.
* She is working on another book for women about women. Probably in the next three years. This will also be set in Mississippi but during the Depression.

Although I didn't get to ask my question in the general forum I did ask it when I got up to get my book signed. So what was my profound question?????
Are you gonna do a cookbook of Minnie's recipes?
She said that she hasn't really thought about it but that if she were to do it the proceeds would go to a charity. So email her and ask her for those recipes and then maybe it will happen.

It was interesting to hear how she came to be an author and it even made me think, could I do that?

I am NOT my BODY ... or my Mind

Many of you have heard the story of Stephanie Nielson (nieniedialogues.blogspot.com). (This woman is AMAZING!) She has an outlook and perspective on life that I long for... She can embrace the small and ignore the unimportant better than anyone else that I have ever seen.
After posting about my thighs and thinking about how unnecessarily some of us augment our bodies or worry about them this video made me pause. I am not my body!!! And even more importantly I am not my mind. I can lose both and I will still be a daughter of GOD! I can go through awful situations and it does not matter how terrible things become it only matters how I deal with it...There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I just have to keep my eyes open!
(Thanks Cara for sharing this with me! You ROCK!)

5 Things NOT to do....

So I always make to do lists in an effort to actually accomplish things. So far I don't seem to be successful with this ideology. So I thought I would make a NOT To DO list...unfortunately it seems as though reverse psychology is the name of my game and I have been doing the things on this list. So much for best laid plans.

NOT TO DO:
1. Don't look at thighs while at water aerobics.
I noticed the other day how IMMENSE my thighs appear under the water. This is the fact for most of the human race. HOWEVER when one is about 37 days from going to Hawaii one becomes overly self-conscious of such things. Now it seems no matter how hard I try not to observe the vastness of my upper leg I DO- dangit!

2. Clean house...Now don't get me wrong I do clean my house but every time I do I lose things. Case in point- we cleaned like crazy last weekend. I thought that I had put a bill in a "safe place". Alas the bill is MIA- dangit!

3. YELL- so I have a bad temper...I get upset and frustrated and I often yell, plus no one listens until mom yells SOOOO....I don't want to but- when a dog jumps on a child, or a child jumps on a child or I bust my butt cleaning only to have various creatures under 4 feet tall destroy such efforts...Well I yell- dangit!

4. Eat Sweets- I have a sweet tooth. I need to lose 20 lbs and I am going to Hawaii in just over a month. So what happens? The kids want cookies and brownies, I get a migraine and need chocolate to get rid of it and then it SNOWS! So of course I need hot chocolate. So much for no sweets- dangit!

5. Stay up late- So I have been wanting to get up earlier and accomplish more during the day. BUT when the dog wants to be played with until 10pm and then I have to do the whole bed time routine. And then I lay there....And look at the clock and it's 1am- dangit!

Oh well!!!!

My dog is giving me Post-partum Depression

So you may laugh but between the puppy and the kids I just want to CRY!!!!
The puppy feels the need to poop and pee whenever & wherever it so pleases. She likes to chew on human flesh, shoes, toys, clothes or whatever else she can get a hold of whether you are wearing it or NOT! This makes me realize that I am done adding things/people to this family.
Now the youngest child who thinks he is potty trained also seems to have accepted the puppy's potty habits and now takes his diaper off whenever he feels that he needs a new one- unfortunately sometimes he does and more POOP to clean up- UGH!
With the lack of sleep from trying to take the dog out and getting up too early and staying up to late. Cleaning up little boy's rooms all the time and cleaning the same toilet 8 times in one week. While trying to get a garden in and not kill plants that cost and arm and a leg and gaining weight despite working out and realizing I AM INSANE.
Although I often feel that I am completely unimportant. I realize that if I quit this non-profit job then my children would be savages with a dog that would be cleaning their bottoms rather than me.
So here is to a life full of poop-literally. And down with people who say I will miss this one day because I guarantee that I WON'T.
I won't miss poopy pants and a crazed dog.
I won't missed spills and accidents on newly cleaned floors.
I won't miss screaming and crying and barking and fighting.
I won't miss parenting alone.
I won't miss being vomited on.

HOWEVER... I will miss being needed even when I want a break OR having a little guy crawl into bed with me or kids falling asleep on me or in my arms OR getting notes that say I LOVE YOU.

BUT I guess that I can't have one without the other...DANGIT!

The Literate Mother

The Literate Mother is a blog dedicated to mothers who want to know what their kids are reading and I am SOOOOO excited about it. With a son who reads more and faster than I do I rely on people and sources that I trust to let me know what my kids are reading and whether or not is is trash.
Books are rated on 4 categories that may be of concern to parents ( Language, Violence, Sexual Content & Adult Themes) and a brief review is written. There is an explanation about how they rate the books and you can search their site for a book by title- very helpful- or just read the most recent post.
It is amazing that these women have done this and I hope that you all find it as helpful as I have.
So go check it out www.theliteratemother.org

Book Review

The Help
I loved this book. The help is another success for southern writers. Kathryn Stockett caught all I know and remember about growing up in the south. The Good, The Bad & The Ugly!
Miss Stockett was able to do justice to the time period, the different characters and above all the setting. I haven't been so homesick for Louisiana in YEARS. I found myself wishing I was sitting on a porch drinking lemonade watching the crepe myrtles, azaleas, magnolias and every other flower that filled the senses at this time of the year. I nearly grabbed a bowl of grits while I read it was so deliciously entertaining! People just don't understand that to feed you is to LOVE you. Being mostly German and being raised in the South I take my gastronomic love fest very seriously.
I loved the characters and the way that she captured everything that makes me say oh my I remember that. (Maison Blache, Community coffee, hose pipe, caramel cake, junior league...oh my I could go on!) I identified with both Miss Celia and Skeeter most because althoug I consider myself from Louisiana, most people wouldn't since I don't go back generations there. But one thing is for certain once you get a taste for Tabasco and Tony's you are a part of Louisiana and it is a part of you!
I encourage everyone to read this book. It is like a grownup version of To Kill A Mockingbird, I wonder if Kathryn Stockett will be our Harper Lee.

A Day in the Life

12am: Puppy cries loudly to be taken out for potty.
12:15am: FIRST attempt to return to bed (perform Tooth fairy duty on return trip)
12:25am: Take puppy out again
12:30am: Play with puppy to get out extra energy
12:40am: SECOND attempt to go to bed
12:50am: Puppy continues to cry pathetically
1am: Take puppy out again & pet,play and calm puppy.
1:40am: Put puppy away and lay on floor hoping she will be done for the night
2am: Third return to empty bed
6:40am: YAY!! Puppy slept most of night, but awake once again
Glad to be awake since I have to be a jury duty, UGH!
6:50am: wake kids to tend dog so I can get dressed.
7:15am: Feed older 2 kids
7:30am: Finally all dressed and feeding and clothing younger two kids
Writing schedule and map for mother-in-law
8am: Worrying about jury duty
8:10am: SO glad that my mother-in-law can watch kids
8:15am: Mother-in-law arrives and I depart for Castle Rock
9am: arrive at courthouse, get scanned for contraban, turn in one questionaire and fill out another.
9:15am: Get told that my number is in a batch that is set for county cases and RARELY do people get dismissed. (PRAYING begins!)
Wondering how long this will take, speculating about how many days I will be here, grateful I didn't have to be there at 7:45am
Read to distract myself form inevitable
10am: Names are starting to be called and assigned to courtrooms.
Anxiety!
10:30am: FREEDOM! Between the 4 dependant children- 2 under 4yrs, family friends and family being victims of violent crimes, law enforcement members of my family, being a former University traffic cop & Interning for Utah Foster Care I was disqualified!!!
11am: Return home and get on with life.
11:45am: Load Butch & Sundance in car
12pm: Pick up kindergartner
12:15pm: Lunch, homework, ect.
1pm: Stop dog from nibbling on kids AGAIN
1:30pm: find mail key...YAY!
2pm: realize UH OH I need to work out
2:30pm: load the menagerie in the car, lock up puppy and go to gym
2:45pm: Arrive at gym, unload kids, jump on treadmill and RUN
3:45pm: Retrieve children to pick up #1 child at school
4pm: Retrieve #1 Child, nearly get blown away by hurricane force wind
4:15pm: Check mail and arrive home, make kids take puppy out
4:30pm: Make kids play outside with puppy, 2yr old decides to strip down to diaper and go outside- WHATEVER!
Go through mountain of mail and assess how much money we don't have- UGH
5pm: Contemplate dinner
5:30pm ZAP Easter leftovers
6pm: clean up after Dinner, Make kids take puppy back out
6:30pm: Watch Shirley Temple Movie with kids
7:30pm: Play Wii
8pm: get ready for bed
8:15pm: Dog pees on rug. Make #1 child take puppy out!!!
8:20pm: #1 kid and puppy come in and puppy is limping....NOOOOO!
8:30pm: Call Animal ER
8:45pm: Kids and dog all loaded in car on our way to ER
Call sister and pray she can meet me and take kids home and throw them in bed
9pm: Arrive at ER, console #1 kid that the dog will be fine- fingers crossed, fill out paper work and WAIT
9:15pm: Awesome sister arrives and car keys are exchanged, continue to wait
9:18pm: Puppy wants to walk around.
9:30pm: see vet tech and decide to see vet and fork out $79 for the trouble
9:35pm: Vet evaluates puppy.
Diva dog is now jumpy and licking and just-ARG! Just like my daughter.
9:45pm: Discharged and told to just watch behavior but that puppies often overreact to small injuries. DANGIT!
10pm: Arrive home, glad dog is fine, puppy promptly pees on floor, gets taken out and is put to bed!
10:15pm: do some laundry. Discover that someone put a diaper in the washer, have to clean out all the gel crap from my $800+ washer.
10:30pm: Finally wash face and brush teeth
11pm: blog about day
12am: sleep..I hope!

Lucky PENNY

Well we finally did it. We got a dog. Since a baby is out of the question a puppy was the best alternative. We thought that we had a much cheaper option but due to a broken leg that puppy was not meant to be and the search was on for our Penny.
For years Ryan was unrelenting about wanting a "hunting" dog- specifically a German Shorthair. I wasn't opposed but I wanted a family dog first and hunting dog second. I have always loved Labs and I love chocolates, so only natural to want a chocolate lab. I wanted a female too because I wanted the smallest version possible.

After years of debate and consulting outside sources Ryan was finally convinced that a lab would be a good choice for us. He researched pedigree and price, kennels & breeders and finally found one.
So after skiing last Saturday, Ryan and Michael drove to Fruita, Colorado and brought home our little girl. She is so much fun and the kids have been so good about cleaning up after her and learning about what she needs. Hopefully she will be as good at hunting as she is at being a part of our family.

Mary Poppins

May I just say that Mary Poppins was/is great. Even after being vomited on* and holding a child that was sick for 2+ hours this show made me laugh, smile, and yes even cry.

Ah, motherhood.

* So about 10 minuets before the show starts William crawls into my lap and cuddles up. I should have known then this was not a good thing. HE begins the pre-vomit convulsing and promptly vomits all over himself and me in the balcony. Thankfully others were spared and I was only humiliated and not mortified! Luckily the staff donated garbage bags to the cause- one for his clothes ( yes he was down to the diaper) & one for the second round that came shortly before intermission. Yes we stayed. And William slept through the second act. So there you have it! Next time you kids are squirmy in public just pause and think at least they aren't vomiting on me.

TOO much time...

When I stay up this late I think too much.
Tonight we discussed the book, Love That Dog by Sharon Creech at book club. This quote from the book is exactly what is going on with me...
Sometimes
when you are trying
not to think about something
it keeps popping back in your head
you can't help it
you think about it
and
think about it
and
think about it
until your brain
feels like
a squashed pea.

Do you ever feel that way?

With Ryan traveling so much I often think too much...What if this or what if that? What about this or what about that? Why this & why that?
None of my questions are ever answered satisfactorily but I guess that is what life is, a season of questions & if I had the answers I wouldn't need faith.

So here is to faith, may we all have enough to get through each day.

NO rhyme or reason

I often contemplate if there is any rhyme or reason to why certain things happen. Today I received a phone call that my husband's uncle was killed in a freak car accident in Arizona. He was on his way home from the funeral of Ryan's great-uncle with his wife, two of his sisters, and his brother-in-law when they got a flat tire. He and his brother-in-law were changing the tire when another driver dozed off swerved and hit our uncle, one day before his 56th birthday.
So why? Why him? Why now? One year ago his mother passed away, & now him?
This Uncle was the first member of the family that I met when Ryan & I were dating. He was a genuinely kind man who didn't have a mean bone in his body. He has a beautiful wife, two daughters & two sons and two granddaughters.
I can't even imagine being at family gatherings without him. I know that I have only been a part of this family for such a short time, relatively speaking, but I was effected by his presence in my life- all for the good.
This was not like the last three deaths that we have experienced where the people were elderly and suffered for a long time. This was sudden and so.....shocking. It amazes me how death can be a welcomed friend in one instance and a vile enemy in the next. Even with a knowledge of the life after the meaning for those left behind is often of no comfort or worse completely elusive.
I simply pray that I can be more like he is/was.

Crazy Garden Lady

So my mom loves to garden, and she is really good at it too. Now that I have seen the following pictures I know that this has always been the fact....Enjoy how cute my mom was as a toddler with her garden tools.
Watch out Dad she may revert any day now!)

9 years down...only 9 left :(

So my oldest turned 9 yesterday. It is astounding to know that half of the time he will live with us full-time is now over. I am so grateful to have this awareness so that each day I can make the effort to better appreciate the time I do get to spend with him.
He is and amazing young man. At a recent parent teacher conference his teacher mentioned how kind and compassionate Michael is. She said, " I can teach him to read and many other things BUT I can't teach him to care for others."
I was nearly in tears. Sometimes you just have to hear the truth from someone else.
Michael is a great blessing to me in my life and although he is not perfect he encourages me to be better. He teaches me that what I say and do have an impact- especially on him.
As I think back here are some things I have learned from being a mother to this exceptional kid.
1. One persons average is another's amazing. Always strive to be your own amazing.
2. Listening to your kids is more than hearing them. Often they talk and talk and talk, sometimes you just need to tell them that you want to listen and then they will wait until you can.
3.Love to learn. Michael has always loved to know things. He always asks me questions and thankfully we have the internet to go to when mom has to admit she doesn't have the answers.
4. When you think something is wrong it often is. Moms should never second-guess their intuition when it comes to their kids.
5. Loving siblings doesn't always come naturally, it is my responsibility to encourage and foster love between my kids. Eventually they will engender the natural affection that we all want to be their.
6. 8 hours of sleep is not always necessary. Since Michael was little we would hear him in his room late at night singing or playing. Now he stays up reading until at least 11pm (sometimes later). He still gets up and practices, does chores and gets to school on time.
7. Your trials may be a blessing in disguise. During my pregnancies I was always super sick. When Michael was two I was pregnant and could barely do the laundry. Michael learned to unload the dryer and how to load the washer- periodically chunking clothes behind the old top load washer. He is now a super helper and has taught his sister & brothers to do laundry and other chores.
8. Make the time you spend with them productive and fun, they will always want to be around you for part of their day. It is not always easy to entertain kids of different ages but I have found that my kids crave being around me. We try to put them in bed and they invariably offer to "help" do something. As much as I know they are avoiding bed I also know they want just a little more time with mom & dad.

It is surreal to look into the unknown and only have a general idea of what will happen. As the details become clearer I hope that I can fully prepare Michael for the years he will be away from us as they unfortunately rapidly approach.

Book Club

I love book clubs. These groups of women are so super awesome and having some mental stimulation is awesome too.
I love having motivation to read books that I have always wanted to read and being exposed to other books that I wouldn't read otherwise.
It is amazing how for days after I think about the conversation and the topics that are addressed while discussing a book. What a great blessing it is for me to have an excuse to get out while Ryan travels so much...So in honor of how much I love books & book club let me quote my daughter. After organizing her bookshelf today she emphatically stated:"I need more books my shelves aren't full yet." (I love that girl.)

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match...

I hate folding socks! Need I really say more?

Just a little Fluff

So here is how I waste my time...

(Before)
So for years I have been wanting to recover these pillows. 1) Because no matter how much I cleaned them they still looked dirty and 2)because they didn't really match the linens in my bedroom.
So I took this fabric:


And tada...

Next I took this awesome aqua toile I found a few years ago and made a pillow for one of chairs in my bedroom.


I may take the remaining toile and make a variation on this pillow. Hopefully it won't take me as long to get to it.
Now to make pillows or covers for the living room and to recover some pillows for our family room. (I am a little pillow crazy at the moment.) The good thing is that the projects keep me sane in a weird twisted way. I guess that I feel that if I accomplish something...anything that is better than nothing.

Need a SMILE?

Ok so if you ever get down and need a smile you have to see the Independant Film I just watched. YOUNG @ HEART!
This was the most uplifting thing I have watched in quite a while. It gives me hope and I smiled the entire time.
In case you haven't seen it an want a brief synopsis so that you can add it to your netflix or reserve it at the library, here goes.
This film follows the Young @ Heart Chorus as they learn their repitoire of Rock n Roll music in 2007. This chorus is a group of Seniors from North Hampton, MA (Not just 60 or 70 somethings but some members pushing 90!) They are astounding! If you visit their website (www.youngatheartchorus.com) you will see that this group has been around since 1983 and that the love of the founders for the members of this chorus is genuine. These people teach you to find joy in your life even when it hands you trials- some members were on oxygen and still sang! This is what I want to be like when I become old. Not old like dang I wish I were 20 again but old like I have lived my life and now I get to play! I can't wait!
(I watched this on Independent Lens on PBS so you may be able to check your local listings and I encourage you to watch...It is worth the time.)

2010...and away we go

So here we are recovering from Christmas and making resolutions and it hits me why don't I look at others' resolutions and just do theirs. It is easier than giving myself a guilt trip about what I won't do and of the resolutions I have read recently most I have already done so I'm already doing great. So here it goes I am going to fulfill all of the following that I have read on other's blogs.

1. No SODA! (This was the easiest one I found out there. I haven't drunk soda-other than an occasional sip- since about 1995. So one down)

2. Keep a journal (Again already do it. Technically I have about 7 going at the same time. One for Ryan and I to write in. One for each kid, one just for me and then a gratitude journal- nothing but the good stuff can go in there.)

3. Read ( do it- if I read more I'd get even less done.)

4. Work out (doing this although the results are not quite what I wanted/expected. Oh well I'll just keep at it.)

5. No cavities (30 and never had one yet. No likely to get one now! THe kids on the other hand...)

Now the last few resolutions are some of the top for 2010: Stop smoking-never started; Quit drinking- again never started;

So there you have it my resolutions are done and already accomplished. That was easy now only six months to prepare for Christmas. Yep I am moving it to JUNE. No one gets sick in June, right?

Short update...I hope

Christmas- good visit with family; homemade gifts were a success; if I have to clean vomit on one more Christmas I will move Christmas to June!

William- how did you get 2 so fast. Dang kid you are growing up TOO fast.

James- bore his first testimony yesterday and Michael helped him. You could only see his eyes and the top of his head but boy was he brave and awesome. Way to go SUNBEAM!

Michael- always aware of EVERYTHING. Tonight Michael said family prayer and asked for "protection from the dangers of this world like fire and carbon monoxide." This is a direct quote. SO cute still at nearly nine.

Christi- learned that combing her hair makes it look spectacular! Maybe we shouldn't encourage this boys are sure to notice her more.

Ryan- back to traveling ALL THE TIME; miss him tons

Katie- I think I may actually finish decorating & organizing this house before July...or at least by next December?

Ok that's it for now. I gotta sleep!