Shh!! It's a secret!

You know how everyone frets over "the talk"?
You know "the birds and the bees"?

As a kid you dread how or what your parents may or may not tell you. You may not even understand what they are saying or you may become so utterly disgusted that you run from the room in tears.

As a parent you worry about when and how much to tell. Will you just confuse them? Will they tell all their friends and teachers? Panic ensues and you end up just trying to do this without damaging them permanently.

Now although the "how babies are made talk" is important- not vital but important- there is a talk that I think is even more necessary, BUT it will never happen.

What is it? you say?

The really important question?

What could possibly be more important than how to make the babies responsibly talk (or practice trying to make babies as the case may be)?

HOW DO YOU RAISE THESE THINGS? HOW DO YOU PARENT?

Why does no one sit you down and tell you how this works? (Well at least they don't tell you when you want to know but rather wait to offer unsolicited advice.)

Now, Shhhhh! It's a secret!

There is a reason that no one has this chat.

NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO PARENT!

 Not them.

Or even them.

It's true.
I keep wondering why did my parents do it this way? OR Why did those people do it that way? The reason, they have no idea how to parent.  I am an oldest and was the epitome of the guinea pig child. I was the practice version. And now that I am a parent I totally get it!

Now I took parenting classes in college. I read ALL about child development and I had great parents but even after all of this I still have no clue!

I can see that my children's behavior is developmentally appropriate and that it's normal BUT it still drives me nuts. I can recognize that this entire household is ADD/ADHD, even the dog, but it still makes me crazy to find what I should by now expect.

I read all these articles and blogs about how to be a great parent and come out thinking that these are great ideas. I come up with a plan about how to implement these great ideas...but then the variables (ie. children) enter. OMG do they enter!
They don't want to sit and be read to.
They don't want to engage in talking- see the 12 year old in the corner.
They don't want to be...awake.

And then there is the parent component.
I mean this job is hard. The hours are long and the amount of sleep one is able to attain is minute. Your co-worker/spouse may or may not be on board with the direction of the company and may offer up a new, and often better, idea thus leading you to realize: I have no clue what I am doing.

But you know what?
Wanna guess?

It's doesn't matter. NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO PARENT!!!!
And more importantly, no one knows how to parent your children.
For generations people with NO CLUE have parented causing marginal damage to the people that they made and still the Earth stands.

Marginal damage in this family.

So my point? Give yourself a break.
You know you are a good parent only when you have good grandchildren.
So just dive in and work hard! The only way I will be able to feel like I've done my best is if I leave it all on the table.
As long as I am there and present for my kids and that they know they are my number one priority. That my days and nights are filled with making sure they are safe and provided for, then I can breathe and know that at least I can parent my kids.....Good luck with yours!